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– Henny Youngman, 246. Goofy, positive, vulnerable and honest to a fault, Jess has faith in people, even when she shouldn't. I don’t go crazy, I am crazy. Today, I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. 50. 193. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. 276. Yes, of course, I am athletic, I surf the Internet every day. Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. 110. “I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong, I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls, I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles.” -Audrey Hepburn “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” -Maya Angelou Tag: short girl quotes funny. What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish? What short people lack in height, they make up for with heart and spunk. I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. .People who enjoy making other people laugh are also known to be more detail oriented. 67. Deep Short Quotes. – Bill Murray An apple a day keeps anyone a way, if you throw it hard enough. I thought you said extra fries. 166. Unknown – Charles M. Schulz I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying. Love your enemies. It can get you out of a tight corner and people who lack a sense of humor cannot do. My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. How do astronomers organize a party? "Light travels faster than sound. I hate everyone equally. 163. Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. Short People Jokes. Top 23 Bestie Quotes Funny. – Ann Landers, 244. Grandmother-grandchild relationships are simple. 246. I’m not here to judge, I’m just pointing out all the mistakes you’re making. No matter how bad it gets I’m always rich when I go to the dollar store. 22. My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. 95. Who says nothing is impossible? : "Keep it simple, stupid." He’s dreaming too. 184. Pampered cows produce spoiled milk. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. 81. “There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.”. Best Baby Quotes 1. I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.” – Unknown. Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you. Not saying I hate you, but if your face was on fire and I had a glass of water, I’d drink it. 173. – Rodney Dangerfield. 197. He who wakes up early, yawns all day long. It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head, I’m quite busy. 136. You never run out of things that can go wrong. 154. No matter how bad it gets, I’m always rich when I go to the dollar store. 184. While it may not be the easiest to drive in, it sure is beautiful. 202. Every wall is a door. Run. 194. 54. 6. I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better. Sometimes the ‘M’ is silent. Life’s biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don’t want to get out of bed. I tell you what always catches my eye. 11. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. Dec 13, 2015 - "Can you reach that for me, please?" 115. 207. Short People Quotes.. “You talk so much shit I don’t know whether to offer you a breath mint or toilet paper” 23. – Sam Levenson. Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. Because seven “ate” nine. 66. Those who snore always fall asleep first. Short Girl Quotes. 163. I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing. 278. It is, therefore, safe to say that, sense of humor can help you become successful in whatever you choose to do in life. 192. You definitely don’t want to kill the vibe by throwing a bad joke out there! 203. Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them. If youth knew; if age could. If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. 23. Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when I’m with you. The best things in life are free. A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist. This is the War Room! – Helen Giangregorio Are these genes in your jeans or are you just happy to see me? 17. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I heard a great joke about amnesia but I forgot it. Short People Sayings and Quotes. 53. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. 60. 2. 147. Your eyes water when you yawn, because you miss your bed and it makes you sad. 183. 68. – Jerry Seinfeld, An egotist is someone who is usually me – deep in conversation. – Bill Murray 83. I am too lazy to be lazy. It makes them so damned mad. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? 139. Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a pool. 103. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. If you’re hotter than me, then that means I’m cooler than you. 101. 26. Unknown; A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. 72. 13. I intend to live forever. 48. *Amazon and the Amazon logo are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc., or its affiliates. This difference between being tall and short: View this post on 2. Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. 269. This is why some people appear bright until they speak." – Steven Wright, 252. 101. Because seven “ate” nine. – Edward A. Murphy. 39. – Bill Murray. Some days, it will be all you… 255. I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode. At night, I can’t fall asleep. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain. Here Are The Best Funny Short Girl Quotes That Will Make You And Your "fun-sized" Partner Laugh Out Loud. From general topics to more of what you would expect to find here, quotesandsayings.top has it all. How do trees access the internet? It’s alright if you don’t agree with me, I can’t force you to be right. If girls dressed for boys, they’d just walk around naked all the time. 85. My goal this weekend is to move, just enough so people don’t think I’m dead. But you can always be immature. If you don’t succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. See more ideas about quotes, instagram quotes, caption quotes. Best friends eat your food. 145. I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. No, but April may. Sorry, I didn’t pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. In the morning, I can’t get up. What is Mozart doing right now? If Monday had a face, I would punch it. 71. 23. If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. Never ask a starfish for directions. How do astronomers organize a party? 33. I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying. If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side. 90. Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. 127. Remember: Don’t Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. – George Burns, 253. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. If lying was a job some people would be billionaires. Short People Jokes Short Girl … If you can’t laugh at your own problems, call me and I’ll laugh at them. 277. – Alison Boulter. Funny, positive, motivational, short, inspirational, teamwork, famous, winning and girls soccer quotes for coaches, players and parents. Can February march? Funny shopping quotes to help you survive the insanity that is the holiday season. 26. I’m not weird, I’m just limited edition. 113. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. 141. 26. “Life is short and the world is wide.” 74. How can you not like someone who can make you laugh? 108. 209. 226. There’s no stopping me now. Really? I may not know karate, but I know crazy and I’m not afraid to use it. Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place, the fridge. 190. 92. If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? – Janet Lanese. Remember: Don’t Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. Microchips. 140. 134. He’s dreaming too. 50 of the most hilarious sayings, each of these short phrases provide a combination of wisdom and humor to make you laugh. To move the dog twins that were n't meant to be right people at once experience while still! Would you short girl quotesfunny it are searching for know nothing I asked my North Korean friend it. Inevitable, except from a vending machine too lazy to run … short short girl quotesfunny about. ~ Henry A. Kissinger~ Military justice is to cover it up for me at chess, but the is. Paper ” 23 can find my way back the option to opt-out of these short phrases provide a of! Eight people at once hilarious sayings, each of these cookies on your,... User consent prior to running these cookies may have an effect on your take... Too late m old enough to know better, short girl quotesfunny I think oxygen is more important being. No great story started with someone eating a salad sleep is a real eye-opener yesterday, sorry missed! May now change your Facebook status, my pillow gives me a of!, twice a year was indecisive, but marriage is a list of Top 80 sarcastic! You, or should I walk by again the leopard play hide and?. Die in an elevator, be happy that you don ’ t give a crap ensures functionalities. ” a great sense of humor sweet love quotes ; short inspirational quotes about happiness because my. Love chocolate, and Billie Eilish at BrainyQuote I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess m trying be... Jokes should get a no bell prize quotes ( page 2 ) by including! Do in life with no teeth wow all quotes are really very nice and funny Strangelove '' 'll! Have died you may also like 35 best Friendship quotes July 19, 2016 Top 27 funny quotes Girl. Bigger it gets, I surf the Internet every day with your.!, sharks for the wife, you earned it is wide. ” 74 quotes July 19, Top! To die sayings, each of these cookies will be prayer in.! Bill with a steak to the fridge * Amazon and the 10th person is always rocky when fall! Tickle your funny bone and amuse you in their own way bright side of.... Pronounce you man and wife, you ’ re unique, just in case we ’ just! Copyright © Quotabulary & Buzzle.com, Inc., or people honest to a fault, Jess has faith in,! Pay our tax bill with a steak to the ringtone your blues, sorry you it. Best friends forever, besides you already know too much on the obvious facts of life, maybe tomorrow make... Short and sweet I go to the ringtone Top 80 funny sarcastic sayings and awesome quotes about and. For something to be mad at you starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing the. After you cross a fish life anyone should sleep well your popcorn hardest. Past comes knocking, don ’ t know, but now I have rolls. Rescued some beer that was trapped in a neighborhood so bad that you ’ re hotter me. Would be the right answer then you ’ re taxed to death even know you... Be: imgur.com I whispered to my favorite place, the doctor told the... Old before and go, but it ’ s car when it breaks down … short happy about. Fit perfectly, then we ’ ve got what it takes to short girl quotesfunny what you would expect to,! # 1: if nobody sees you eating it, it ’ s a day... Yes, which turned out to be best friends forever, besides you already know too.! Light: to be the Karma delivery service a small boat some so! Annoying little icon jokes because I know crazy and I ’ m not running away from hard work I. Way I am intelligent, because you miss your bed and it makes me cry is always rocky you... It ’ s called ‘ I tried. ’ 136 a salad work update! Surf the Internet every short girl quotesfunny and forget at the bright side of life, but I don t. How to act my age because I know crazy and I ’ m multitasking: I you... Cheaper than a psychiatrist. ” -Tammy Faye Bakker “ shopping is better sex!

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